Scooperman, blueberry waffles, weed soda and terpenes

There’s certainly no shortage of dank cannabis products on the shelves at pot shops across Greater Lansing this year. And with so many new strains, edibles and concentrates constantly hitting the market this month, I’ve truly struggled to find enough time to write about them all. I can’t even finish a bag of weed nowadays without spotting something else out there worth trying.

So, in what will be a recurring feature, I present this month’s Kief Tray — a broad assortment of some dank marijuana products that I just didn’t have time to feature on their own this month.

Glorious Cannabis Co. — Scooperman ($45/3.5g)

Terpenes: Limonene; Linalool; Ocimene

Lake Orion-based Glorious Cannabis Co. is having a banner year for pot. After releasing a decadent new lineup of THC-infused gummies last month, the company recently partnered with the cultivation wizards at Superior Flowers to roll out a wide variety of flower and concentrates that are available now at several local retailers such as Bazonzoes, Jars and Gage Cannabis Co.

That partnership includes a variety of new strains, but among the tastiest was Scooperman — a crossbreed between Gelato 41 and Purple Pebbles that tastes eerily like superman ice cream.

Gelato 41 is known for potent and relaxing body high and a sweet, earthy aroma. The Purple Pebbles adds a sweet and fruity kick. Together, they’ve created a creamy, dessert-like strain with strong notes of vanilla and pine — and just the right amount of skunky, spicy goodness.

Gage Cannabis Co. — Blueberry Cream Waffle ($35/1g)

The folks over at Gage Cannabis Co. made a pretty bold claim this month, labeling their newly released distillate vaporizer cartridges as the “best vape carts in Michigan.” And as someone who has sampled dozens of different brands over the years, I just had to put them to the test.

These one-gram cartridges are all crafted using own Gage’s in-house flower strains — including Cake Batter, Funfetti Cake, Runtz, Sweet Tartz, Banana Bread, Gelato Driver, Strawberry Gelato, Grease Monkey, Ether OG, Fatso OG and Cookies & Cream. I tried a few of them. My personal favorite — by far — was the indica-leaning hybrid variety of Blueberry Cream Waffle.

Are they the best vaporizer cartridges available in Michigan? No. Distillate products simply don’t compete with some of the pricier, terpene-filled live rosin carts on pot shop shelves nowadays. Will they still get the job done? Absolutely. They also tasted exceptional. And with Gage’s 4/$100 deal, it’s pretty hard to find a better bang for your buck on the recreational market today.

Happi — Sparkling THC Water ($19/4 pack)

This next product is a real game changer for the cannabis industry. Happi claims to have created the first THC-infused beverage to hit the recreational marijuana market in Michigan — and it’s available here in East Lansing at Skymint’s newest local location on Coolidge Road.

Each 8.4 oz can includes the tiniest microdose of 2.5 mg of THC and is marketed as an alternative to alcohol — a beverage worth drinking in sessions of four or five cans that will work to gradually get you ripped over the course of an evening. As a seasoned toker, these sparkling waters didn’t exactly get me high. I might’ve felt a tingle or two after guzzling down four cans on Saturday evening, but it’s not enough to write home about.

The all-natural ingredients comprising the raspberry honeysuckle and lemon elderflower flavors, however, were quite tasty. And amateurs can certainly still get high from 10 mg of THC. I bought a four-pack for a close family member who hasn’t smoked pot in year, who got totally baked.

And if you’re celebrating Dry January, this might be a good excuse to indulge in something else.

Grow Haven — Ethos Cookies ($45/3.5g)

Grow Haven is a relatively new cannabis cultivation company based in Paw Paw, but its products are available at Arcanna in Ionia — which offers free delivery across Greater Lansing — and The Botanical Co. And its Ethos Cookies strain is among the best weed I’ve ever had the privilege of smoking.

CEO Jeremy Neilitz truly understands that terpene profiles play a much more important role than THC content in determining the overall potency and resulting high of any given strain. That’s why his company goes out of its way to test the terpene profiles of every harvest.

Ethos Cookies tests at about 23% THC, but it’s the 2.8% terpene content that really makes it shine — including a potent blend of limonene, trans-caryophyllene and ocimene. The buds were huge and absolutely caked with yellow-tinted trichomes. Its terpene blend helped to create a peppery flavor profile with bright citrus notes and just a light touch of freshly mowed grass.

It was the potent effects, however, that stunned me. One joint had me feeling exceptionally chatty and giggly, a euphoric sort of marijuana-induced daze that I haven’t felt in several years.

Neilitz also said Ethos Cookies is the only strain that helps with his chronic back pain — so those looking for pain relief might also find some added benefits from this particular strain.

Kyle Kaminski is City Pulse’s managing editor and a cannabis enthusiast who has been smoking marijuana just about every day for the last decade. Almost weekly, Kaminski samples some of the best cannabis products available in Greater Lansing, gets real high and writes about them.