It’s football season. Here’s a cheap way to get high for the next game

I’ve never cared much for watching football games. That being said, I love football season. 

For me, this time of year is much less about the score of any particular game or the players on any particular field and much more so about simply relaxing with friends, having a few drinks (and smokes), grilling up some tailgating snacks and enjoying the arrival of hoodie season.

I might not be able to name the quarterbacks or running backs on any given teams. I might not even buy tickets to a single game. But like every year, I’ll pretend to give a damn, dig out my old Lions and MSU jerseys, find my way to a few tailgates and bowl parties and have a great time.

So, I was understandably excited when Skymint reached out with some samples from its latest “Tailgate” lineup — a clear nod to college football fandom in both East Lansing and Ann Arbor.

Green Machine 

Cannabis-Infused Gummies

Price — $16/10 pieces

THC content — 100mg

Skymint has two new flavors of gummies to help celebrate college football season this fall: Green Machine and Varsity Blue. Green Machine is a tribute to the Michigan State University Spartans — a package of 10 dank green (lime) and white (coconut) gumdrops. Varsity Blue is blue and yellow (pear, passionfruit and pomegranate) for the University of Michigan Wolverines.

I’m a bit biased, but I think MSU clearly got the short end of the stick on flavors in this new lineup. The Green Machine tasted entirely of coconuts — and not the tangy, fruity pina colada sort of coconuts. Even the lime gummies tasted like dull cream. They were objectively terrible.

Even if you truly bleed green and white, consider snagging the Ann Arbor variety for gameday. I still wouldn’t eat either gummies for the flavors alone, but Varsity Blue is much more palatable. 

The good news: You only need to eat four or five of these treats to stay ripped through halftime. These edibles are also a steal of a deal at only $16 per bag; Similar gummies are usually $20. 

I found myself in a euphoric and dazed state of happiness for four hours after consuming about half the bag of Green Machine before the matchup with Northwestern University on Friday evening. I also fell asleep before the game was over. Pro tip: The effects take about an hour to kick in, so give the first few gummies time before you impatiently chow down the whole bag.

Think of these treats sort of like Burnett’s flavored vodka: Nobody actually enjoys drinking the stuff, but it’s cheap, effective and people sure do guzzle a lot of it during their college years. But if you’re looking for the single-barrel Scotch of the cannabis world, consider looking elsewhere. 

Tailgate Vape Cartridge 

Price — $25/.5g 

THC content — 84.3%

This is another utilitarian cannabis product designed for game day. The half-gram package is chalked full of football-themed marketing lines like “time to get blitzed,” and “take a hit,” but it doesn’t actually provide any real information about which strains are included in this distillate — only that it’s a “tailgate” flavored blend of cannabis extracts and botanical-derived terpenes.

That flavor (much like the game day gummies) left much to be desired. I detected some very mild berry notes with a hint of pine, but otherwise didn’t taste much of anything at all. The cheap plastic cartridges produced a fair amount of vapor. It was also exceptionally smooth. But I prefer my distillate blends with a bit more cannabis-flavored zest and far fewer marketing mysteries.

It was also disappointing to see that this cannabis oil was just a distillate with added terpenes — not a genuine live resin oil cartridge. For the price point, however, I can’t complain too much.

Any cartridge on the shelves for less than $30 makes my wallet happy, as long as it actually works. And this stuff definitely works. The high hits real quick, and it lasts for quite a long time.

I also took periodic puffs almost all of Labor Day weekend and still have plenty left for the week.

This cartridge isn’t likely to win the next Cannabis Cup, but it’ll get the job done with an uplifting, energetic and invigorating sort of high that might be just right for your next big football game.

Kyle Kaminski is City Pulse’s managing editor and cannabis enthusiast who has been smoking marijuana just about every day for the last decade. Every week, Kaminski samples some of the best cannabis products available in Greater Lansing, gets real high and writes about them.

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