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Wednesday, July 10,2013

Advice Goddess

The Jaws Of Ex-Wife And Zero Thumb Game

by Amy Alkon
Q: I have had a huge crush on a man for several months and finally asked him out for drinks. During our “date,” he mentioned his friend he wanted to set me up with, and I told him that HE is the person I’m interested in. He laughed nervously and seemed a little shocked. W...
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Saturday, July 6,2013

Advice Goddess

Cleanup In Aisle Home

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for 10 months and living with him and his 12-year-old daughter for half that time. He broke up with his daughter’s mother after she became addicted to coke and then meth.
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Wednesday, June 26,2013

Advice Goddess

Not a mourning person & when bald things happen to good people

by Amy Alkon
Q: My girlfriend died in a car accident four months ago, and I fear I'm not grieving the way I should. I was really broken up at first, crying hysterically, and I miss her terribly.
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Wednesday, June 19,2013

Advice Goddess

The upgradest love of all

by Amy Alkon
Q: I'm a single dad of three children, who are my world, and it was a battle to get custody of them. For three years, I've dated a woman with grown children, and on our shared birthday (Valentine's Day), I proposed and she accepted. Two days later, she ended everything via text and hasn't spoken to me since.
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Wednesday, June 12,2013

Advice Goddess

Coitus frustratus & whistle while you weep!

by Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend is a very spiritual person who practices yoga, meditation, etc. He showed me a website about karezza, which basically involves deriving sexual pleasure through long, drawn-out, non-vigorous physical contact without experiencing an orgasm. It sounds nice and all, but I would greatly miss the orgasm part of sex. Well, he recently revealed that he is a recovering porn and masturbation addict.
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Wednesday, June 5,2013

Advice Goddess

Beating them about the head with a shtick & the carpal tunnel of love

by Amy Alkon
Q: I've always made people laugh with my self-deprecating humor, but I was complaining about not having much luck with the ladies recently, and my buddy told me that my humor is a problem. He said I come off as kind of a downer to women.
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Wednesday, May 29,2013

Advice Goddess

Ennui Go! & getting over the frump

by Amy Alkon
Q: My girlfriend and I love each other, but we feel we're becoming numb to hearing it from each other. We've been together three years, so I assume that time is what’s put a damper on the "three little words." I suggested that when we are about to say "I love you," we come up with something more personal and meaningful. This, sadly, was difficult and lasted about a day.
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Wednesday, May 22,2013

Advice Goddess

Time is on her slide & Malcolm in the mid-life

by Amy Alkon
Q: My girlfriend is constantly late, which is annoying, but what's more annoying is that there's always an excuse: She had to do one more thing at work; traffic was horrible; her dog wouldn't pee, so she had to walk him longer; she couldn't get somebody off the phone. She always apologizes and is always late the next time.
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Wednesday, May 15,2013

Advice Goddess

The audacity of grope & is there an eco in here?

by Amy Alkon
Q: My friend's girlfriend hits on me all the time. (We're all lesbians.) She always offers to get me a drink before she gets her girlfriend one, and she's taken to giving me quick shoulder rubs and stomach pokes. The other night was really bad.
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Wednesday, May 8,2013

Advice Goddess

Tail from the crypt & I sing the buddy electric

by Amy Alkon
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for two years. I do have trust issues, having been cheated on in past relationships. My boyfriend's best friend of six years, a beautiful and intelligent woman, passed away three months ago. Since then, he has visited her grave weekly and kept a photo of them together posted online.
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