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Wednesday, August 6,2014

Advice Goddess

I’m With Stupor

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, Aug. 6 — Q: A close friend has a drinking problem. His wife kicked him out, he lost his job, and he’s been a lousy father to their 1-year-old son. He begged to stay with me (his only single friend) and has been sleeping on my couch for months. Despite my lecturing him a thousand times, he’s still going out and getting wasted -- while trying to talk his wife into taking him back. She called to ask how he’s been. I said “pretty good,” though the truth is, I just want him out of my apartment.
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Wednesday, July 30,2014

Advice Goddess

Empty Shelly And Grate Expectations

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 30 — Q: My girlfriend of a year is really pretty and sweet, and we love all the same outdoor activities. However, I feel there’s a ceiling on our connection because she lacks a strong personality of her own. Whenever we discuss something to do, she defers to me. Also, I care deeply about politics and ideas, but she doesn't read newspapers or books or develop her own opinions. Two days ago, I asked about something we’d just heard on the news, and she basically parroted my opinion back to me. I pressed her, saying, “But what do YOU think?” She couldn’t answer. This led to my suggesting that maybe she needs to see a therapist to learn to open up more. She was pretty offended, and we haven't talked much since.
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Monday, July 28,2014

Advice Goddess

Cheat Exhaustion And Fling Theory

by Amy Alkon
Monday, July 28 — Q: My girlfriend and I are mostly happy together, but we have this ongoing fight where she accuses me of wanting to cheat whenever I so much as glance at a woman she perceives to be my “type” (any woman roughly her age and ethnicity). Even flipping through a magazine that shows a woman in an ad is enough to set her off. She says I need to eliminate all contact with other women, or I'm being unfaithful. But I don't see how I can stop doing things like talking to the checker at the supermarket or looking at someone crossing the street.
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Wednesday, July 16,2014

Advice Goddess

Tales From The Cryptic And You May Now Miss The Bride

by Amy Alkon
advicegoddess_headshot.jpgWednesday, July 16 — Q: My boyfriend of two years got an early birthday present from his sister and her husband: a really expensive, second-row ticket for a major sporting event next year. The trouble is, it falls on my 30th birthday (a Saturday). He knows I usually don’t care about my birthday, and I confess that I also judge people who care about theirs. Still, I can't help but feel that my 30th is a bit of a milestone, and I wanted to spend my birthday weekend together somewhere with my boyfriend. I understand that he doesn't want to seem ungrateful for his sister's gift, and he's courteously told me about this conflict well in advance. Do I need to just get over myself? Or should I raise my concerns?
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Wednesday, July 9,2014

Advice Goddess

Pierre Pressure And You May Now Miss The Bride

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 9 — Q: I’m an 18-year-old woman, recently asked out by a handsome, charming 34-year-old guy from France. He took me out to a nice restaurant, and everything was wonderful until he admitted that he has a girlfriend, though he explained that they always fight and break up. He said he isn’t ready to leave or cheat on her, but he is very attracted to me and wants to keep seeing me platonically to see where our “relationship” goes.
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Wednesday, July 2,2014

Advice Goddess

Is This Deceit Taken? And Selfish Allergy

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 2 — Q: I’m a 54-year-old single man. I’ve discovered a troubling and apparently rampant trend among people around my age doing online dating -- women not being honest about their age. I think the women doing this include the woman I started seeing, whom I otherwise like a lot. She listed her age as 55 but recently got flustered recalling the year she graduated from high school. I got suspicious and looked her up on people finder sites, which list her age as 57. Should I tell her, “Hey, I’ve been doing a little detective work, and your numbers don't add up”?
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Wednesday, June 25,2014

Advice Goddess

Destitution Wedding And Ed Driftwood

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, June 25 — Q: A friend asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. It’s being held hours away, and the only hotel is pricey. With tux rental, attending will cost me over $500. I’ll also have to miss work. (I’m a waiter.) Is it okay to decline a wedding invitation because it’s too expensive to attend?
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Wednesday, June 18,2014

Advice Goddess

Carbon Dating And Hooked On A Felon

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, June 18 — Q: I am a single 58-year-old woman with a one-year subscription to eHarmony. In the six months I've been on, only two men have contacted me. Of the dozen men I've reached out to, only one responded, and nothing came of it. I’m stumped as to why I’m getting such a sparse response.
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Wednesday, June 11,2014

Advice Goddess

Bridle Party And June Wetting

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, June 11 — Q: I’m going to a friend's bachelor party in Vegas, which includes a strip club visit. My girlfriend said I have to sit that out. She believes going could lead me to cheat on her. I assured her that I have no intention of cheating — ever — and strippers have no interest in me anyway. Well, she’s adamant. I caved, agreeing to skip the strip club, but my friends’ teasing will be merciless. What if I just go and fib to my girlfriend to keep everyone happy?
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Wednesday, June 4,2014

Advice Goddess

All Is Not Flossed And Out Of Leftover Field

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, June 4 — Q: I've gone out several times with a girl I really like, but her breath bothers me enough that I don't want to kiss her until it improves. (It smells like pepper and socks.) She doesn't smoke, eat stinky foods, or have an odd diet (beyond not eating red meat), so I’m not sure where this is coming from. I think her feelings might be hurt if I were to say something. What’s the best approach?
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