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Wednesday, December 15,2010

Advice Goddess

Dirty-Something

by Amy Alkon
Q: My husband surfs the Internet for porn and pictures of women when he’s bored. I want to accept this, but I can’t help but feel insecure and betrayed. He doesn’t watch porn when I’m home, but if I were gone more often, I think he’d be hopping online. I don’t snoop; I just see clues. Yesterday, I returned from a quick errand, and he’d left up a search for “Serena Williams swimsuit photos.” Pretty harmless, but it still stabbed me in the heart! He’s a deeply caring and sensitive man, and has been willing talk to me about this. He suggested I look at pics of men or porn, and said he wouldn’t feel threatened, just happy if I’m feeling good. It still drives me nuts and makes me less sexually giving to know that when I leave my house he’s fantasizing about other women.—Trying
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Wednesday, December 8,2010

Advice Goddess

You tech my breath away & Deleting him on

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’ve had some good experiences with online dating, but I just can’t get over this feeling that it just isn’t natural or sexy.—Clicking For Love
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Wednesday, December 1,2010

Advice Goddess

The boors and the bees

by Amy Alkon
Q: In your response to the woman with the publicly gropey boyfriend, you deemed French kissing at a workplace event inappropriate PDA. How about French kissing one's girlfriend during a performance of “Stomp” (musical theater)? The woman behind me that evening gave me negative feedback…which was of no interest to me. My take on people put off by PDA (isn't it really only women?) is that their disgust is based more in envy than superior decorum. Someone reacting negatively to seeing my tongue go into my girlfriend’s mouth is suffering at their own doing — because of how they process their witnessing of my actions. (I’d love to hear their reaction to my having sex in a movie theater. Come on, we were in the back row, and the seven people there would've had to turn their heads 180 degrees to see anything.) Basically, I own my actions and I’m fine with them. Others need to start owning their reactions, and you need to stop promoting arbitrary standards of behavior.—My Two Cents
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Wednesday, November 24,2010

Advice Goddess

Laddy Gaga & Hourglass Half-Empty

by Amy Alkon
Q: I'm a 26-year-old guy who’s been on 30 dates this year in hopes of finding a woman to build a long, healthy relationship with, but I only ended up with a few notches in my belt. Last night, I went out with a girl who shook my world. I've never fallen for somebody so quickly, and the thought of her not liking me tore me apart inside. We met on a dating website when she wrote to say my profile was “cute” and so was I. On our date, however, I got the impression she wasn’t too interested because she rarely made eye contact and didn’t smile much. I couldn't sleep last night, as I was so depressed at the thought of her not liking me or being in my life. So, how should I healthily pursue her? She said she wanted to go out again, but many girls say that and don’t mean it. I’m waiting 48 hours to call so I don’t seem desperate. I'm an emotional guy, and the thought of her not liking me is SO hurtful that this will take a while to get over — if I ever do.—Destroyed
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Wednesday, November 17,2010

Advice goddess

Plain and suffering & Till death grip do us part

by Amy Alkon
Q: Guys pay a lot of attention to my drop-dead gorgeous friend when we go out. So, what can you do if you’re her not-as-pretty sidekick? I can honestly say I’m cute, especially when I’m all dressed up. I’m told I have a great personality, but I know I lack a certain confidence many women have, and maybe that’s making things harder when we’re in bars and clubs.—Pretty Unsure Of Myself
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Wednesday, November 3,2010

Advice Goddess

Settle sore & Lack of space, the final frontier

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’m a 23-year-old law student with a boyfriend who attends grad school 16 hours away. We’re both swamped at school, so we visit once a month. I've only been with one other guy, but I hate the dating scene. Still, maybe I need to date around to make sure he’s the right ...
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Wednesday, October 27,2010

ADVICE GODDESS

Giving her paws & As fat would have it

by Amy Alkon
I’ve been dating a great guy for three years. I occasionally get invited to work functions, and I’d like to take him, but I can’t trust him to act appropriately (not grope me in front of my co-workers, make inappropriate small talk, etc.). The thought of bringing him makes me so anxious that I go by myself. Recently, we went to two concerts he wanted to see, and I kept having to pry his hands off my breasts in the middle of a crowd.
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Wednesday, October 20,2010

Advice Goddess

When plush comes to shove & Legume squad

by Amy Alkon
Q: I fear I’ve already turned off the new guy I’m dating because of a ritual I can’t seem to give up. I sleep with a stuffed bunny. I’m in my mid-30s, but I’ve had it since childhood, and I just find sleeping with it comforting. For the first month of dating this guy, I didn’t bring it to bed. But now that I’m feeling more relaxed with him, I grab for it after we’ve finished our intimate stuff. He seems rather unimpressed, to say the least. The other night, he said something like “Now, how old are you again?” Is this something I need to stop doing, or something that somebody who cares about me should just accept?—Can’t Let Go Of Floppy
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Wednesday, October 13,2010

Advice Goddess

Pier Pressure & Gregory Pecs

by Amy Alkon
Q: I got laid off when my company relocated. I was unemployed for 10 months while I tried unsuccessfully to find a job. During this time, my wife resented that she was working and I was “off.” She’d criticize the housework I did, saying I never dusted or swept well enough. She also complained that all her friends are going on vacations and cruises, and not us. I reminded her that, in this economy, many people who are financially strapped take “staycations.” She said that doesn’t make her feel better, and that she took more cruises and trips before she got married. I finally found a temporary but very stressful managerial job, and she now complains that I don’t have as much time for her. Is there hope for us?—Can’t Win
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Wednesday, October 6,2010

Advice Goddess

Putting the spark plugs in the relationship & Sloshed in translation

by Amy Alkon
Q: Five years ago, My Love and I shared our first kiss. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other three times a week for an hour. We spend this hour in his truck being intimate. We love each other. We talk about getting married, how we’ll spend our retirement years, where we&rsq...
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