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Wednesday, February 15,2012

Advice Goddess

Dim and her & I'm with Cupid

by Amy Alkon
I'm having a whirlwind romance with a man I met online on Thanksgiving. I moved across the country to live with him on December 20, and we’re now building a life together. The problem is I have a high IQ (137), and he’s very unintelligent and illogical.
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Wednesday, February 8,2012

Advice Goddess

Some unenchanted evenings & once you go Lewis Black…

by Amy Alkon
My boyfriend lacks romantic ambition. In our two years together, we’ve never gone out to dinner someplace I can wear a dress and heels, and he never brings me flowers or does anything for our anniversary or Valentine’s Day. Ive suggested he pick out lingerie he’d like to see me in and shown him how to set a romantic mood in our apartment.
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Wednesday, February 1,2012

Advice Goddess

Shove thy neighbor & idle worship

by Amy Alkon
Reality, like angry little dogs, often bites. Every day, I wake up wishing for home-invasion housecleaners. But, as much as both Nature and I abhor a vacuum, at a certain point, I have to pull one out, lest my rugs provide shelter to a lot of little things with a lot of little legs.
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Wednesday, January 25,2012

Advice Goddess

Code goo & world wide web of lies

by Amy Alkon
I bet the doc doesn’t have patients show up at whim: “Hi, I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I’d have a physical.”
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Wednesday, January 18,2012

Advice Goddess

Witchful thinking & Baby, I need your oven

by Amy Alkon
A “love” like hers sends chills down a man’s spine — that is, when the man happens to have one. Did you forget yours at the airport? Maybe leave it at a hotel? Although your wife is engaging in outrageous emotional abuse, your reaction — your fear of her rage, which she uses to control you and get her way — is what keeps it going.
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Wednesday, January 4,2012

Advice Goddess

Axing a girl out

by Amy Alkon
Q: You overlooked the danger when you replied to the woman who was invited on a hiking date by a man she’d had a crush on. You said that he probably got interested because he saw her with her new boyfriend. Well, he could also have wanted to murder her because of that. Every year, there’s news of a female body being found in a remote area — or not found after a disappearance.
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Wednesday, December 28,2011

Advice Goddess

Brief-stricken & epic frail

by Amy Alkon
Q: A divorced male friend and I recently became “friends with benefits.” However, I'm not receiving the same, uh, level of benefits as he is. He isn’t giving me orgasms from intercourse, and his pleasuring of me is measured in seconds rather than minutes, despite my telling him that this is a problem.
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Wednesday, December 21,2011

Advice Goddess

The Cad Catalogue & If the shoo fits?

by Amy Alkon
divorce his wife for me. He has been married five times and cheated on all of his wives. I have reason to believe he'euro;'s still having sex with his ex-wife. Im not sure what to do. I refinanced my house a few months after meeting him and paid off his and his wifes $14,000 credit card debt (my idea, to help him out of the marriage).
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Wednesday, December 14,2011

Advice Goddess

Blister wonderful

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’m starting to have feelings for this guy friend I’ve been fooling around with, but I’m worried he isn’t feeling the same way. He’s stopped short of having full-blown intercourse with me, which I find odd, although I don’t want to have sex yet because I have genital herpes and I’m not ready to tell him. (I take an antiviral drug for this daily, and I’d have him wear protection during intercourse.) Do you think he knows I have herpes? Maybe he just isn’t interested in me romantically and doesn’t want me getting too attached. —Puzzled
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Wednesday, December 7,2011

Advice Goddess

Her best friend’s waiting & poach class

by Amy Alkon
Q: My girlfriend s best friend is her ex. They broke up six years ago (upon mutual agreement). She swears she s much happier being his friend and says they both feel they weren t meant to be romantic partners. Well, she clearly adores the hell out of him, and he s her go-to guy for her problems (family, career, and probably any issues with me). She respects my opinion, but sometimes I feel she only asks for it so I won t feel second banana to him. We ve only been dating eight months, and I feel she believes what she says about their friendship, but part of me worries that she s still in love with him but not aware of it. During one of their long phone chats, if he said he wanted to be with her after all, I suspect I d be dumped fast. Second Best
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