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Wednesday, October 5,2011

Advice Goddess

Helen of toy & Mitey aphrodite

by Amy Alkon
You can try to keep the romance alive with some therapist looking disapprovingly down her bifocals at the two of you ' or with the gift of a 50-cent purple plastic chimp. The chimp, happily, will not ask you to “own your feelings” or repeat awkward “I” statements.
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Wednesday, September 28,2011

Advice Goddess

Girl with a wait problem & Meet Joe Blackberry

by Amy Alkon
frustrated to the max and wants to have an unemotional hookup. She suggests we each have a “last fling” before we start our relationship (when my deployment ends in 60 days). Well, I’m in an all-male unit, and when I’m home, I want to be with her. She’s attending a wedding this weekend (single guys, hotel rooms, open bar, etc.
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Wednesday, September 21,2011

Advice Goddess

That witch does not kill us & Can't twin 'em all

by Amy Alkon
fiancee he broke up with six months ago and aren’t too happy about him seeing me. His 19-year-old half sister actually contacted me on Facebook, told me to “watch my back,” and made some mean assumptions about me. Next, his mother Facebooked me and said that she’s also sorry her son’s with me and that I should watch what I say to her daughter.
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Wednesday, September 14,2011

Advice Goddess

Fraud prince & Vulture shock

by Amy Alkon
and he tells me he loves me and that I’m the only person for him. Well, my best girlfriend visited her brother, my boyfriend’s roommate, and returned with some real fun facts: Last year, my boyfriend became obsessed with some girl and got into an “open relationship” with her ' all year.
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Wednesday, September 7,2011

Advice Goddess

This is where you draw the spine & Wishful finking

by Amy Alkon
I’m not invited to the wedding. Last spring, when we were broken up for three months, he had a fling with the bride’s friend. As a courtesy to the fling woman, I’m blacklisted. Last summer, when we got back together, I asked that he clear up things with his fling immediately, which he agreed to do.
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Wednesday, August 31,2011

Advice Goddess

Guru, Interrupted

by Amy Alkon
Q: My husband is extremely analytical, to the point where he has a negative or argumentative response to almost anything I say ' including positive or even insignificant things. Then, when he makes some remark, unless I respond with “I agree” or “uh-huh,” he debates me. I’ve repeatedly asked him to stop making everything an argument, but he insists that he’s just giving his “honest opinion.” I go for counseling, but he refuses to, saying he won’t talk to “some stranger” about us. He’s turning my happy self into a miserable, depressed self.
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Wednesday, August 24,2011

Advice Goddess

Spring, chicken!

by Amy Alkon
The average guy is more likely to be attracted to “Barely Legal!” than “Almost Of Age To Retire To The Home.” This particular guy doesn’t seem to be average. Sure, he might have invited you to volleyball to be inclusive, but dates ' which he’s asked you on ' are very rarely a form of philanthropy.
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Wednesday, August 17,2011

Advice Goddess

Piece treaty & Sex and the cellar

by Amy Alkon
They’d gone from being a couple who didn’t have much sex to a nearly sexless one. You seemed to suggest that the guy bargain for sex from his wife: “Talk about how much sex you’d like, and how much she’s willing to provide, and work out a compromise.
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Wednesday, August 10,2011

Advice Goddess

Hold me, tightwad & Too mosh for information

by Amy Alkon
What kind of disturbed cheapskate tells his girlfriend she’s lucky he didn’t charge her for rent, gas, and electric on all those nights she didn’t drag herself out of his bed and drive home immediately after sex? But, wait ' it gets better.
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Wednesday, June 1,2011

Advice Goddess

When you wish upon a Ringo Starr & Aisle be embarrassing you

by Amy Alkon
While it must seem like aliens came down and swapped out your brain for Mrs. Cleaver’s, it’s possible that the culprit is the release, during sex, of oxytocin, a hormone nicknamed “the hug drug” and “the cuddle chemical.
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