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Wednesday, June 20,2012

Advice Goddess

Thrilla in vanilla & getting into your genes

by Amy Alkon
Q: My best friend is a guy. We have tons in common and have conversations that are lively, honest, and deep. He’s basically everything I’ve ever wanted in my future husband, but he has an infatuation for Filipina women half his age. I’m 37, his age, and Caucasian. His plan is to find and marry a girl from the Philippines. In fact, he is so stuck on marrying a Filipina that he is learning to speak Tagalog and travels to the Philippines twice a year but has yet to have anything work out. I maintain hope that he’ll eventually develop the attraction to me that I have for him and that compatibility will trump looks, because he often tells me how much he appreciates me. Am I fooling myself, or could he outgrow his Filipina fetish?
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Wednesday, June 13,2012

Advice Goddess

Motherly Shove & Look What The Catty Dragged In

by Amy Alkon
Q: I am in my 20s and, for eight months, have been seeing a girl who might very well be “the one.” The problem is she wants to meet my mother, who is beyond controlling. She plays a game with girls I date, which I call “the 20 questions of doom.” Her questions start out normal, but by question 10, she’ll ask stuff like “Have you ever seen my son in the nude, and if not, do you have plans to?”
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Wednesday, June 6,2012

Advice Goddess

We'll always have parasites

by Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend of two months is a gem, but his house is a horror. The fridge and bathroom are disgusting, and the whole place is seriously messy. There’s this eerie feeling that the house was formerly homey, like nothing has changed since his wife left him three years ago — down to the box of sanitary pads in the bathroom cupboard and the very wife-ish folksy kitchen art everywhere.
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Wednesday, May 30,2012

Advice Goddess

Wedding her whistle & youth is fleeing

by Amy Alkon
Q: I just turned 26, and I’m ready to be married. My previous two boyfriends dragged their feet and then said the blood-boiling line: “I will marry you…someday.” I met a guy online, and we initiated a relationship on the basis that he was ready for marriage. Four months after our first kiss, I broke up with him after he, too, expressed hesitation about marriage.
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Wednesday, May 23,2012

Advice Goddess

by Amy Alkon
Q: I asked my boyfriend for his email password so I could look at a message he’d mentioned. He grabbed my laptop and said he’d log in and forward it to me. He is a good guy and has never given me reason to distrust him, but if you aren’t hiding anything, why would you care whether your girlfriend can read your email, Facebook messages, whatever? He says he feels that people should have a certain amount of privacy in a relationship and doesn’t believe in sharing his passwords. Really? Not even with the woman he’s been sleeping with for two years? —Suspicious
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Wednesday, May 16,2012

Advice Goddess

I get a kickball out of you & last tango in suburban living room

by Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend of three months is 22, and so am I. He tells me he loves me but is horrible about returning texts and calls and following through with dates. (He seems to ditch me if something better comes along.) He also doesn’t treat me very well around others. Recently, he got really drunk at a party and was hitting on my friend all night, though she ignored him. I finally pulled him aside and said he was hurting my feelings, and he said I was too sensitive and I’m just jealous that people like him. He later disappeared from the party for over an hour, and when I asked him where he’d gone, he said, “What are you, my mom?”
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Wednesday, May 9,2012

Advice Goddess

Mused and abused & meek him halfway

by Amy Alkon
A: As lame as some creative writing exercises sound — “Write a haiku about what you had for lunch!” — a thinly veiled portrait of your chicken salad will cause way less relationship stress than “Turn your fight with your girlfriend into a blog post!” (And no, you can’t just change her name from Molly to Holly so nobody but your 546 Facebook friends will know it’s her.)
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Wednesday, May 2,2012

Advice Goddess

Baby makes flee & cheatapalooza

by Amy Alkon
Q: When I married five years ago, I was on the fence about having kids. I thought some parental gene might kick in, but it never did. Now, at 40, I’ve accepted that a childless marriage is best for us, given my wife’s fertility issues and my ambivalence about parenthood. My wife, however, sees no purpose to life without children. It upsets her to see me happy without kids while she pines for them. She is also upset that I won´t try all possible alternatives, such as adoption and fertility treatments, and is generally angry and outright hostile toward me.
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Wednesday, April 25,2012

Advice Goddess

Vulture capital & life Is methy

by Amy Alkon
Q: This woman and I have been friends for a year. She’s a free spirit of sorts with zero boundaries. In the time I’ve known her, she’s been married and divorced and then engaged, and now that has ended. She always has another man on the side. (She did even when married and engaged.) She frequently mentions my husband — how he likes animated films and so does she (they’re not my thing) and offers to accompany him to them. She always gives him a big hug hello, even when I’m around, and goes on about how similar they are, and it just strikes me as odd. Here’s the killer: Last week, she saw my husband at a gathering, came up behind him, and kissed him on the neck! Of course he told me, as he has no interest in her, but I was shocked. We are planning a business together, but now I don’t want her near my husband! Should I confront her?
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Wednesday, April 18,2012

Advice Goddess

Inner booty & Romeo must dial

by Amy Alkon
Q: In your answer to “Dismayed,” the 32-year-old woman with a Ph.D. who was unimpressed by the men she was meeting, I was struck by how cold and calculating it all sounds: Women evolved to marry money and power; men look for eye candy to parade around on their arms. As a man who doesn’t bring money or power to the table, what do I have to give up? Why can’t you just fall in love like you got hit by a ton of bricks and have that be enough?
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