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Wednesday, June 6,2012

Advice Goddess

We'll always have parasites

by Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend of two months is a gem, but his house is a horror. The fridge and bathroom are disgusting, and the whole place is seriously messy. There’s this eerie feeling that the house was formerly homey, like nothing has changed since his wife left him three years ago — down to the box of sanitary pads in the bathroom cupboard and the very wife-ish folksy kitchen art everywhere.
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Wednesday, May 30,2012

Advice Goddess

Wedding her whistle & youth is fleeing

by Amy Alkon
Q: I just turned 26, and I’m ready to be married. My previous two boyfriends dragged their feet and then said the blood-boiling line: “I will marry you…someday.” I met a guy online, and we initiated a relationship on the basis that he was ready for marriage. Four months after our first kiss, I broke up with him after he, too, expressed hesitation about marriage.
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Wednesday, May 23,2012

Advice Goddess

by Amy Alkon
Q: I asked my boyfriend for his email password so I could look at a message he’d mentioned. He grabbed my laptop and said he’d log in and forward it to me. He is a good guy and has never given me reason to distrust him, but if you aren’t hiding anything, why would you care whether your girlfriend can read your email, Facebook messages, whatever? He says he feels that people should have a certain amount of privacy in a relationship and doesn’t believe in sharing his passwords. Really? Not even with the woman he’s been sleeping with for two years? —Suspicious
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Wednesday, May 16,2012

Advice Goddess

I get a kickball out of you & last tango in suburban living room

by Amy Alkon
Q: My boyfriend of three months is 22, and so am I. He tells me he loves me but is horrible about returning texts and calls and following through with dates. (He seems to ditch me if something better comes along.) He also doesn’t treat me very well around others. Recently, he got really drunk at a party and was hitting on my friend all night, though she ignored him. I finally pulled him aside and said he was hurting my feelings, and he said I was too sensitive and I’m just jealous that people like him. He later disappeared from the party for over an hour, and when I asked him where he’d gone, he said, “What are you, my mom?”
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Wednesday, May 9,2012

Advice Goddess

Mused and abused & meek him halfway

by Amy Alkon
A: As lame as some creative writing exercises sound — “Write a haiku about what you had for lunch!” — a thinly veiled portrait of your chicken salad will cause way less relationship stress than “Turn your fight with your girlfriend into a blog post!” (And no, you can’t just change her name from Molly to Holly so nobody but your 546 Facebook friends will know it’s her.)
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Wednesday, May 2,2012

Advice Goddess

Baby makes flee & cheatapalooza

by Amy Alkon
Q: When I married five years ago, I was on the fence about having kids. I thought some parental gene might kick in, but it never did. Now, at 40, I’ve accepted that a childless marriage is best for us, given my wife’s fertility issues and my ambivalence about parenthood. My wife, however, sees no purpose to life without children. It upsets her to see me happy without kids while she pines for them. She is also upset that I won´t try all possible alternatives, such as adoption and fertility treatments, and is generally angry and outright hostile toward me.
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Wednesday, April 25,2012

Advice Goddess

Vulture capital & life Is methy

by Amy Alkon
Q: This woman and I have been friends for a year. She’s a free spirit of sorts with zero boundaries. In the time I’ve known her, she’s been married and divorced and then engaged, and now that has ended. She always has another man on the side. (She did even when married and engaged.) She frequently mentions my husband — how he likes animated films and so does she (they’re not my thing) and offers to accompany him to them. She always gives him a big hug hello, even when I’m around, and goes on about how similar they are, and it just strikes me as odd. Here’s the killer: Last week, she saw my husband at a gathering, came up behind him, and kissed him on the neck! Of course he told me, as he has no interest in her, but I was shocked. We are planning a business together, but now I don’t want her near my husband! Should I confront her?
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Wednesday, April 18,2012

Advice Goddess

Inner booty & Romeo must dial

by Amy Alkon
Q: In your answer to “Dismayed,” the 32-year-old woman with a Ph.D. who was unimpressed by the men she was meeting, I was struck by how cold and calculating it all sounds: Women evolved to marry money and power; men look for eye candy to parade around on their arms. As a man who doesn’t bring money or power to the table, what do I have to give up? Why can’t you just fall in love like you got hit by a ton of bricks and have that be enough?
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Wednesday, April 11,2012

Advice Goddess

Carpy diem & fastidious and furious

by Amy Alkon
Sure, even now, you may be faced with one of the big relationship-crushing issues like money problems, forcing one of you to call your dad and then go out in the pouring rain to the ATM.
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Wednesday, April 4,2012

Advice Goddess

You lite up my life & stare way to heaven

by Amy Alkon
Q: A guy wrote you about a girl he sees at a coffee shop — a girl he suspects is out of his league. You said the way to know for sure is by asking her out. Bad Advice Goddess! This suggests that he should regard all women with whatever she’s got — like if she’s “too beautiful” — as out of his league. That just isn't right. There’s probably a “too beautiful” woman out there who’d go for him.
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