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Wednesday, May 2,2012

Advice Goddess

Baby makes flee & cheatapalooza

by Amy Alkon
Q: When I married five years ago, I was on the fence about having kids. I thought some parental gene might kick in, but it never did. Now, at 40, I’ve accepted that a childless marriage is best for us, given my wife’s fertility issues and my ambivalence about parenthood. My wife, however, sees no purpose to life without children. It upsets her to see me happy without kids while she pines for them. She is also upset that I won´t try all possible alternatives, such as adoption and fertility treatments, and is generally angry and outright hostile toward me.
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Wednesday, April 25,2012

Advice Goddess

Vulture capital & life Is methy

by Amy Alkon
Q: This woman and I have been friends for a year. She’s a free spirit of sorts with zero boundaries. In the time I’ve known her, she’s been married and divorced and then engaged, and now that has ended. She always has another man on the side. (She did even when married and engaged.) She frequently mentions my husband — how he likes animated films and so does she (they’re not my thing) and offers to accompany him to them. She always gives him a big hug hello, even when I’m around, and goes on about how similar they are, and it just strikes me as odd. Here’s the killer: Last week, she saw my husband at a gathering, came up behind him, and kissed him on the neck! Of course he told me, as he has no interest in her, but I was shocked. We are planning a business together, but now I don’t want her near my husband! Should I confront her?
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Wednesday, April 18,2012

Advice Goddess

Inner booty & Romeo must dial

by Amy Alkon
Q: In your answer to “Dismayed,” the 32-year-old woman with a Ph.D. who was unimpressed by the men she was meeting, I was struck by how cold and calculating it all sounds: Women evolved to marry money and power; men look for eye candy to parade around on their arms. As a man who doesn’t bring money or power to the table, what do I have to give up? Why can’t you just fall in love like you got hit by a ton of bricks and have that be enough?
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Wednesday, April 11,2012

Advice Goddess

Carpy diem & fastidious and furious

by Amy Alkon
Sure, even now, you may be faced with one of the big relationship-crushing issues like money problems, forcing one of you to call your dad and then go out in the pouring rain to the ATM.
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Wednesday, April 4,2012

Advice Goddess

You lite up my life & stare way to heaven

by Amy Alkon
Q: A guy wrote you about a girl he sees at a coffee shop — a girl he suspects is out of his league. You said the way to know for sure is by asking her out. Bad Advice Goddess! This suggests that he should regard all women with whatever she’s got — like if she’s “too beautiful” — as out of his league. That just isn't right. There’s probably a “too beautiful” woman out there who’d go for him.
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Wednesday, March 28,2012

Advice Goddess

Manure and wife & doctors without borders

by Amy Alkon
Q: My fiancee insists on having our wedding at “THE most magical place to get married,” this beautiful lake resort. Her family’s well-off, but having it there creates a financial hardship for my relatives and our friends, who are working crappy jobs in a terrible economy. Our guests mostly live in our hometown, and the lake is a four-hour drive each way, and there are no affordable places to stay.
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Wednesday, March 21,2012

Advice Goddess

Bodies at rust & beer your soul

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’m a recently divorced 40-something woman, now dating again, and I’m wondering what the guidelines are on how long to wait to have sex. I’m not interested in casual sex, but I have a healthy libido. If I’m really attracted to a man, I’ll be dealing with some powerful mixed (internal) signals regarding how long to wait. Really what I want is to have sex with a man I like as soon as reasonably possible without getting labeled by him (consciously or subconsciously) as an expendable floozy.
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Wednesday, March 14,2012

Advice Goddess

Lard Of the dance & memory bank fraud

by Amy Alkon
Q: When I got married, I was a slim 6’2”, but I’ve gained a lot of weight. My wife gained about 20 pounds but recently lost that and more. I’ve been as high as 265, but I’m now at 238 and losing about a pound a week, which isn’t fast enough for my wife. When I contemplate going on a stricter diet, what comes to mind is feeling angry, tired, and hungry at my high-stress job. My wife said that I obviously love food more than her, and that if I won’t lose weight for her, maybe I’ll do it for our boys.
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Wednesday, March 7,2012

Advice Goddess

The spinster cycle

by Amy Alkon
Q: I’m a 32-year-old woman with a Ph.D. I’m beyond happy with my career path, but I’m not meeting men I’m impressed with or inspired to see again. A girlfriend sent me a New York Times op-ed by a historian named Stephanie Coontz, who said that highly educated women can find a man if they drop “the cultural ideal of hypergamy — that women must marry up.”
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Wednesday, February 29,2012

Advice Goddess

Have a peasant day & meek her want you

by Amy Alkon
Q: Your answer to “Roseless,” the woman bemoaning her boyfriend’s lack of “romantic ambition,” hit a nerve with me. My wife of 19 years and I shared equally in raising our three children. She only sort of “works” now, but I do the home chores an...
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