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Wednesday, July 22,2015

Advice Goddess

Sleepless In Fallujah And Hat Crime

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, July 15 — Q: I just broke up with my girlfriend of seven months. We fought constantly, but the sex was amazing. Reviewing my relationships, it seems I have the best sex in the volatile ones — those where we argue all the time and really don’t get along. I’m wondering whether there’s a connection between anger and sex.
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Wednesday, July 15,2015

Advice Goddess

Mourning Breath And Jerk du Soleil

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, July 15 — Q: I was engaged to a woman 20 years ago. We were in college and in our mid-20s. I realized that I wasn’t ready to get married and called off the engagement. I loved her and wanted to stay with her, but she broke off the relationship. I’ve had relationships since then, but I still regret not marrying her. She’s married now, and I shouldn’t even be thinking about her so many years later, but I can’t seem to shake the loss of her. How do I get her — and, moreover, the regret — out of my head?
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Wednesday, July 8,2015

Advice Goddess

Requiem For A Scream And Flee Market Capitalism

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, July 8 — Q: I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship with a really great guy. The problem is, it started as a hookup, and I faked my orgasm. I didn’t announce I was having one, but I, um, made certain noises. I was enjoying myself, but I just didn’t feel one coming, and I didn’t want him to feel bad. Now that we’re “a thing,” I can’t keep faking, but I’m not sure how to tell him.
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Wednesday, July 1,2015

Advice Goddess

Emotion Sickness

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, July 1 — Q: Last week, my girlfriend was all annoyed about something (something relatively unimportant). I’m normally not a bad listener, but I was getting stressed out just hearing about this. I blurted out, “Calm down!” and she really flipped, yelling, “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” It took me forever (and lots of “I’m sorrrreeee”s) to get her to mellow out. I mentioned this incident to a friend, and he said, “Man, don’t you know? You never say that to a woman!” Please explain.
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Wednesday, June 24,2015

Advice Goddess

Crowd Mary And Grin Acres

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, June 24 — Q: I’m trying to take a break from dating and work on myself because I keep ending up with really jerky guys. I’m an extrovert — very social and outgoing — and I find it hard to just chill by myself. I get bored and lonely. I want to pick better guys, but I hate being alone on a Saturday night with a phone that doesn’t ring.
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Wednesday, June 17,2015

Advice Goddess

Beyond Thunderdomes And Tinder Mercies

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, June 17 — Q: I have a great circle of female friends, but one of “the group” has a way of making backhanded comments about my appearance that make me feel bad about myself. Her latest topic is my breasts and how much smaller they are than hers. Incredibly, she manages to work this into any conversation — exercising, fashion, shopping, camping. If I confronted her, I know she’d act as though she’s been paying me compliments. (“But you're SO lucky to have small boobs!”) How can I get her to stop?
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Wednesday, June 10,2015

Advice Goddess

Dork Matter And Break Room With A View

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, June 10 — Q: I’m just out of a bad relationship and ready to start dating. I recently met a guy I liked at the mall. There was definitely a physical attraction, and we had a lot in common, but not an hour after we met, he sent me a text that said, “Miss you already.” That set off red flags for me. Sweet or creepy? I’m on the fence.
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Wednesday, June 3,2015

Advice Goddess

Owe, Baby, Baby

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, June 3 — Q: My girlfriend always cries that she’s “broke.” I just ended up buying her groceries and paying to have her car fixed, and then I discovered by accident that she’d recently paid hundreds of dollars for hair extensions, beauty products, and a facial. She isn’t the first girlfriend I’ve had who prioritizes beauty stuff over necessities. I really don’t get some women’s relationship with money.
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Wednesday, May 27,2015

Advice Goddess

Rise And Spine And To Boldly No Where No No Has Gone Before

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, May 27 — Q: My fiance is good friends with his ex-girlfriend from college. (We’re all in our 30s.) She isn’t a romantic threat, but she’s become a source of stress. Long before I met my boyfriend, they began hanging out at a local bar together twice a week. They still do this, and I go along, but I’ve increasingly found these evenings a draining time-suck. When I don’t want to go, my fiance hangs at home with me. This prompts a tantrum from his ex-girlfriend, complete with a barrage of angry texts. I’ve tried reasoning with her, but she claims that when he was single, he “dragged (her) out constantly” so he still owes her. My boyfriend is a laid-back, nonconfrontational kind of guy and just says she needs to calm down.
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Wednesday, May 20,2015

Advice Goddess

The File High Club And Feral Hugs

by Amy Alkon
Q: A year ago, a co-worker I had a crush on made moves on me after hours at work, and we stopped just short of having sex. I saw him as a potential boyfriend, and I emphasized that I was not interested in casual sex. He told me at the time that he had broken up with his girlfriend but two days later said they’d made up. Several times since, when his relationship has been on the rocks, he’s suggested we have sex. I told him I want no physical contact with him ever again, and now he rarely speaks to me, despite seeing me daily at work. I considered him a friend, so I’m devastated he took advantage of me and was only interested in cheating. I’m finding it really hard to heal and move on.
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