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Wednesday, August 27,2014

Advice Goddess

Beard-Death Experience And Pouring Him A Scold One

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 27 — Q: This adorable, smart, funny guy I’m dating was clean-shaven when we first met, but for the past three weeks, he hasn’t shaved much. He has this really weird facial hair pattern (like patches on his cheeks that haven’t filled in well), and I don’t find it attractive. I didn't know how to bring this up, so I mentioned it to my roommate, and she volunteered to “casually” mention it. So, last week when he and I were having drinks before going out, she popped into the room and said, “Hey, Brad…still growing that beard? I think you look a lot better clean-shaven.” He seemed put off, and we went out to dinner shortly afterward, but the whole evening felt a bit weird. And he still has this patchy facial hair thing going on.
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Wednesday, August 20,2014

Advice Goddess

MP3’s A Crowd And A Vicious Recycle

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 20 — Q: I’ve been dating a girl for two months, and I go back and forth from thinking the relationship has legs to wanting to end it. I just had a birthday, and she got me a new iPod Touch with my name engraved on the back. I told her it was too extravagant, but she insisted I keep it. For some reason, I now want to break up with her even more, but I feel guilty about ending it after she got me this pricey gift.
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Wednesday, August 13,2014

Advice Goddess

Under New Anger Management And Hot To Tot

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 13 — Q: When my boyfriend and I started dating, he was kind of a hothead. His first encounter with my friends was a game of touch football on the beach. He and another guy collided, and he lost his temper. There was a good bit of yelling, and I think people were pretty shocked. To his credit, he realized he had an anger problem. Over time, he has worked hard on it, and now he doesn’t blow up anymore. He really is a changed man, and I thought people would recognize it, but I’ve recently learned that they all still see him as the scary-angry guy. Is there any way to change that?
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Wednesday, August 6,2014

Advice Goddess

I’m With Stupor

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, Aug. 6 — Q: A close friend has a drinking problem. His wife kicked him out, he lost his job, and he’s been a lousy father to their 1-year-old son. He begged to stay with me (his only single friend) and has been sleeping on my couch for months. Despite my lecturing him a thousand times, he’s still going out and getting wasted -- while trying to talk his wife into taking him back. She called to ask how he’s been. I said “pretty good,” though the truth is, I just want him out of my apartment.
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Wednesday, July 30,2014

Advice Goddess

Empty Shelly And Grate Expectations

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 30 — Q: My girlfriend of a year is really pretty and sweet, and we love all the same outdoor activities. However, I feel there’s a ceiling on our connection because she lacks a strong personality of her own. Whenever we discuss something to do, she defers to me. Also, I care deeply about politics and ideas, but she doesn't read newspapers or books or develop her own opinions. Two days ago, I asked about something we’d just heard on the news, and she basically parroted my opinion back to me. I pressed her, saying, “But what do YOU think?” She couldn’t answer. This led to my suggesting that maybe she needs to see a therapist to learn to open up more. She was pretty offended, and we haven't talked much since.
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Monday, July 28,2014

Advice Goddess

Cheat Exhaustion And Fling Theory

by Amy Alkon
Monday, July 28 — Q: My girlfriend and I are mostly happy together, but we have this ongoing fight where she accuses me of wanting to cheat whenever I so much as glance at a woman she perceives to be my “type” (any woman roughly her age and ethnicity). Even flipping through a magazine that shows a woman in an ad is enough to set her off. She says I need to eliminate all contact with other women, or I'm being unfaithful. But I don't see how I can stop doing things like talking to the checker at the supermarket or looking at someone crossing the street.
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Wednesday, July 16,2014

Advice Goddess

Tales From The Cryptic And You May Now Miss The Bride

by Amy Alkon
advicegoddess_headshot.jpgWednesday, July 16 — Q: My boyfriend of two years got an early birthday present from his sister and her husband: a really expensive, second-row ticket for a major sporting event next year. The trouble is, it falls on my 30th birthday (a Saturday). He knows I usually don’t care about my birthday, and I confess that I also judge people who care about theirs. Still, I can't help but feel that my 30th is a bit of a milestone, and I wanted to spend my birthday weekend together somewhere with my boyfriend. I understand that he doesn't want to seem ungrateful for his sister's gift, and he's courteously told me about this conflict well in advance. Do I need to just get over myself? Or should I raise my concerns?
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Wednesday, July 9,2014

Advice Goddess

Pierre Pressure And You May Now Miss The Bride

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 9 — Q: I’m an 18-year-old woman, recently asked out by a handsome, charming 34-year-old guy from France. He took me out to a nice restaurant, and everything was wonderful until he admitted that he has a girlfriend, though he explained that they always fight and break up. He said he isn’t ready to leave or cheat on her, but he is very attracted to me and wants to keep seeing me platonically to see where our “relationship” goes.
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Wednesday, July 2,2014

Advice Goddess

Is This Deceit Taken? And Selfish Allergy

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, July 2 — Q: I’m a 54-year-old single man. I’ve discovered a troubling and apparently rampant trend among people around my age doing online dating -- women not being honest about their age. I think the women doing this include the woman I started seeing, whom I otherwise like a lot. She listed her age as 55 but recently got flustered recalling the year she graduated from high school. I got suspicious and looked her up on people finder sites, which list her age as 57. Should I tell her, “Hey, I’ve been doing a little detective work, and your numbers don't add up”?
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Wednesday, June 25,2014

Advice Goddess

Destitution Wedding And Ed Driftwood

by Amy Alkon
Wednesday, June 25 — Q: A friend asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. It’s being held hours away, and the only hotel is pricey. With tux rental, attending will cost me over $500. I’ll also have to miss work. (I’m a waiter.) Is it okay to decline a wedding invitation because it’s too expensive to attend?
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