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Wednesday, October 22,2014

Advice Goddess

The Agony Of Delete And Louvre, Actually

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, OCT. 22 — Q: I just had the humiliating experience of being dumped via email. I’d been seeing the guy for three months. Just days before, we had a romantic date, and he kept saying things like “We're so good together” and was very lovey-dovey. In the email, he said he realized that we aren’t compatible, because I’m too driven and career-focused and he needs a more traditional woman. Why did he never mention this before? How does a guy who was very affectionate for months suddenly take to the computer to send you a quick note that it’s over? I’m so hurt and confused by how he handled this.
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Wednesday, October 15,2014

Advice Goddess

Knight Terrors And You’ve Got Tail

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, OCT. 15 — Q: I’m a woman in my early 30s. I was one of the employees who got laid off after my employer lost a big account. I’ve found a new job, but it’s not on my career path and it pays terribly. Still, it’s a job and it pays. I live with my boyfriend, and we’ve always split the expenses, but he’s trying to persuade me to keep looking for something better and to let him pay the bills until I find it. He keeps saying he’s “happy to do that,” but I just can’t stomach it. I’ve always supported myself and taken pride in not being the sort of woman who sponges off a man, and I’m not ready to start now.
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Wednesday, October 8,2014

Advice Goddess

Will Onesies Never Cease? And Take A Toad Off

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, OCT. 8 — Q: My married friend just had a baby and posts what’s essentially the same “Look how cuuute!” shot on Facebook several times daily. Beyond finding this annoyingly boring, I’m 32 and unhappily single, and seeing all of her blissful pix is making me envious and resentful. Is it wrong to secretly block her photos? I feel it would be better for our friendship.
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Wednesday, October 1,2014

Advice Goddess

Fasten Your Bible Belt

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1 — Q: My boyfriend and I are spending Christmas with his family. I like them and get along well with them. However, they’re very religious, and he wants me to join them in going to holiday church services. I grew up secular in a conservative town, and because of all I went through, I developed a deep distaste for religion. His family knows I’m an atheist but doesn’t know the extent of my aversion to religion. I explained to my boyfriend that the idea of sitting through church and going through the motions, given how I feel about religion, is downright upsetting to me. Though he’s no longer religious, he doesn't share my aversion, and he insists I go out of respect for him and his family. Should I just go and grin and bear it as a favor to him?
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Wednesday, September 24,2014

Advice Goddess

Heavy Meddle And Curl, Interrupted

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 24 — Q: Is it okay to keep your income a secret from someone you’re dating? I recently started seeing a girl I work with (at an advertising company). She believes women at our company get paid less on average, and I suspect she’s right. Yesterday she came right out and asked me how much I make. I’m pretty sure I’m the highest-paid person on our team, but her question made me really uncomfortable, and I told her I make a lot less than I actually do. I felt bad lying to a woman I could get serious with, but I don’t want her or other co-workers knowing my salary.
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Wednesday, September 17,2014

Advice Goddess

To Leech According To Her Needs And For Whom The Wind Chimes Toll

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17 — Q: My roommate’s girlfriend is unemployed and just hangs around our place all week, even when he’s at work. (She has her own place but is never there.) She’s very wasteful with our utilities. Yesterday, after work, I found her in the living roo...
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Wednesday, September 3,2014

Advice Goddess

Whoa Is Me

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 3 — Q: Last year, after I split up with my girlfriend, the law firm I worked for went belly up. I haven’t been on a date all year. Friends try to set me up, and I keep giving excuses for why I can’t go, but the truth is, I’ve totally lost my nerve. I’d like to change that. Money isn’t the issue. I work here and there and still have severance pay left. But despite interviewing heavily, I have yet to land a full-time gig and feel kind of like a failure, and I don’t want to discuss that on dates.
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Wednesday, August 27,2014

Advice Goddess

Beard-Death Experience And Pouring Him A Scold One

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 27 — Q: This adorable, smart, funny guy I’m dating was clean-shaven when we first met, but for the past three weeks, he hasn’t shaved much. He has this really weird facial hair pattern (like patches on his cheeks that haven’t filled in well), and I don’t find it attractive. I didn't know how to bring this up, so I mentioned it to my roommate, and she volunteered to “casually” mention it. So, last week when he and I were having drinks before going out, she popped into the room and said, “Hey, Brad…still growing that beard? I think you look a lot better clean-shaven.” He seemed put off, and we went out to dinner shortly afterward, but the whole evening felt a bit weird. And he still has this patchy facial hair thing going on.
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Wednesday, August 20,2014

Advice Goddess

MP3’s A Crowd And A Vicious Recycle

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 20 — Q: I’ve been dating a girl for two months, and I go back and forth from thinking the relationship has legs to wanting to end it. I just had a birthday, and she got me a new iPod Touch with my name engraved on the back. I told her it was too extravagant, but she insisted I keep it. For some reason, I now want to break up with her even more, but I feel guilty about ending it after she got me this pricey gift.
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Wednesday, August 13,2014

Advice Goddess

Under New Anger Management And Hot To Tot

by Amy Alkon
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 13 — Q: When my boyfriend and I started dating, he was kind of a hothead. His first encounter with my friends was a game of touch football on the beach. He and another guy collided, and he lost his temper. There was a good bit of yelling, and I think people were pretty shocked. To his credit, he realized he had an anger problem. Over time, he has worked hard on it, and now he doesn’t blow up anymore. He really is a changed man, and I thought people would recognize it, but I’ve recently learned that they all still see him as the scary-angry guy. Is there any way to change that?
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