“Ahhh-TEN-shun, LAYYY-deez and gentlemen! For the first time ever, this year’s City Pulse/WLNS Top of the Town Contest has TWO rounds.

“WELL-caaaahhhmm to the second and final round — the FINAL FIVE!!

“Here to explain this INN-explicable, INN-trusive INN-ovation is City Pulse’s mostest of the verbostest, the punctuating punk who pumps the junk into every conjunction, Little Larry Cosentino, the angry Sicilian!”

Thanks a lot, loudmouth. Maybe you didn’t hear: I’m not so angry anymore. Grand jury hearings are next week. I started yoga in Old Town and I’m shopping for something nice at Kositchek’s. They wire it, I don’t care. I got nothing to hide.

Anyway, listen up, paisan. This year, we thought we’d mix it up a little.

“Final Five” voting is simple and righteous. It gives the little guy, the local business, a fighting chance against the big chains that refuse to pay protection — I mean, who take unfair advantage of the little guy. It gives everybody another chance to mix it up real good.

Besides, Final Five just sounds good, like the Five Families. Man, those were the days. Leave the gun, take the cannoli. Louise, shoot the radio. OK, so that was from “Thelma and Louise.” Whatever. I like it, so?

Multiple rounds of balloting keep a lot of elections interesting — Italian governments, for example. How else would you end up with a prime minister from a party called “The Olive Tree”? And isn’t that one of the nominations for Best Restaurant?

Seriously, just vote the way a rich, narcissistic JERK at the Academy Awards would, by choosing your favorite from the five top first-round vote-getters in each category. You can vote in one, a few, or all the categories, but nominations are closed. Fahggedabout write-ins. It’s too late to nominate Tini Bikini, even for Best Place of Worship. If you don’t like any of the radio stations nominated, pick the one with your lucky number, or better yet, skip it.

And speaking of Italian elections, you can vote as many times as you want.

Vote from your home computer, mobile phone, cerebellum implant or whatever the HELL you kids are throwing your money at nowadays.

Now if you excuse me, I’ve got to go ditch these stale ethnic, sexist, and ageist stereotypes, take a bath and memorize my grand jury testimony. May the joint with the best gluten free food win.

2013 City Pulse/WLNS Top of the Town Awards FINAL FIVE* NOMINEES!

VOTE NOW AT LansingCityPulse.com/FinalFive

BEST DINING

Bar Food

Crunchy’s

Buffalo Wild Wings

Dagwood’s Tavern & Grill

Art’s Bar & Grill

Bonnie´s Place

BBQ

Meat. Southern BBQ & Carnivore Cuisine

Smokey Bones

Backyard BarBQ

King of the Grill

Turkeyman

Bread/Bakery

Great Harvest Bread Co.

Panera Bread

Roma Bakery

Breadsmith

Bake & Cakes

Breakfast

Golden Harvest

Flap Jack Restaurants

Fleetwood Diner

Cracker Barrel

Soup Spoon Café

Burger

Bonnie’s Place

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

Crunchy’s

Bagger Dave’s

Peanut Barrel

Casual Dining

Soup Spoon Café

Fork in the Road

El Azteco

Cheddar’s

Deluca’s

Chili

Wendy’s

Soup Spoon Café

Beggar’s Banquet

Dagwood’s Tavern & Grill

Chili’s

Cocktails

Bar 30

The Exchange

Soup Spoon Café

Dusty’s Tap Room

Houlihan’s

Coney Island

Sparty’s Coney Island

Leo’s Coney Island

Zeus’ Coney Island

Nip n Sip Drive In

Dimitri’s Restaurant

Dessert

Bake-n-Cakes

Grand Traverse Pie Co.

MSU Dairy Store

Sweetie-licious

Sugar Shack

Diner

Fleetwood Diner

Golden Harvest

Fork in the Road

Soup Spoon Café

Theio’s Restaurant

Fries

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

McDonald’s

Dagwood’s Tavern & Grill

Bagger Dave’s

Crunchy’s

Gluten Free

Purple Carrot Truck

P.F. Chang’s China Bistro

Woody’s Oasis

Better Health

(WOW!) With Out Wheat

Gourmet Restaurant

Soup Spoon Cafe

Dusty’s Cellar

English Inn

Red Haven

Fork In the Road

Italian

Deluca’s Restaurant

Bravo!

Emil’s

Carrabba’s Italian Grill

Cugino’s Italian Restaurant

Mexican

El Azteco

Cancun Mexican Grill

Los Tres Amigos

El Oasis

Pablo’s Panaderia

New Restaurant

Meat. Southern B.B.Q. & Carnivore Cuisine

Red Haven

Bar 30

Tony Sacco’s

Buffalo Wild Wings (West)

Patio

Peanut Barrel

El Azteco East Lansing

Waterfront Bar and Grill

Dublin Square

Blue Gill Grill

Pizza

Deluca’s Restaurant

Jet’s Pizza

Pizza House

Art’s Bar and Grill

Georgio’s

Sandwich/Deli

Jersey Giant

Jimmy John’s

Soup Spoon Café

State Side Deli

Frandor Deli

Seafood

Mitchell’s Fish Market

Red Lobster

Maru Sushi

SanSu Sushi

Ukai

Steak

Knight Cap

Texas Roadhouse

Outback Steakhouse (West Side)

Outback Steakhouse (Okemos)

Logan’s Roadhouse

Sushi

SanSu Sushi

Maru Sushi

AI Fusion Sushi & Grill

Ukai II

Xiao

Vegetarian/Vegan

Purple Carrot Truck

Woody’s Oasis Bar & Grill

Aladdin’s

Golden Harvest

Fork In the Road

BEST HANGOUTS

Coffee Shop

Artie’s Filling Station

Avenue Cafe

Decker’s Coffee Company

Espresso Royale (East Lansing)

Grand River Coffee

NEW CATEGORY! Best Biggby Location 

120 W. Ottawa St., Lansing

2002 W. Saginaw St., Lansing

115 W. Allegan St., Lansing

750 N. Cedar St., Lansing

6439 S. Cedar St., Lansing

536 Elmwood Road, Lansing

1701 Waverly St., Suite 102, Lansing

8741 W. Saginaw Hwy., Lansing

2546 E Jolly Road #2, Lansing

2250 Lake Lansing Road, Lansing Charter Township

500 E. Michigan Ave., Lansing

4100 Capital City Blvd., Lansing

2006 S. Cedar St., Holt

270 W. Grand River Ave., East Lansing

1331 E. Grand River Ave. # 111, East Lansing

3499 E. Lake Lansing Road, East Lansing

One Union Square, East Lansing

1429 W. Saginaw St., East Lansing

2055 W. Grand River Ave., Okemos

4756 Marsh Road, Okemos

4480 S. Hagadorn Road, Okemos

3520 Okemos Road, Suite 7, Okemos

914 Charlevoix St. #110, Grand Ledge

13181 Schavey Road, DeWitt

12821 Crossover Dr., DeWitt

504 Lansing St., Charlotte

1077 S. Whittemore St. #14b, St. Johns

661 N. Cedar St., Mason

Dance/Club Scene

Green Door

Spiral Dance Bar

Bar 30

The Loft

Mac’s Bar

Gay/Lesbian Bar

Spiral Dance Bar

Esquire Bar

Preston’s Bar

Sir Pizza, Old Town

Mac’s Bar

Happy Hour

Houlihan’s

Crunchy’s

Dagwood’s Tavern & Grill

Green Door

Tavern on The Square

Karaoke

Crunchy’s

Sir Pizza Grand Café

Buddies Pub & Grill

Leroy’s Classic Bar & Grill

Darb’s Tavern & Eatery

Movie Theater

NCG Cinemas

Celebration! Cinema

Studio C!

Sun Theater (Grand Ledge)

Sun Theater (Williamston)

Open-Mic Night

Connxtions Comedy Club

Dagwood’s Tavern & Grill

Green Door

Mac’s Bar

Sir Pizza Grand Cafe (Old Town)

Place to be Seen

Downtown Lansing

East Lansing Art Festival

Old Town

Bar 30

Golden Harvest

Pub/Tavern

Dagwood’s Bar & Grill

Moriarty’s Pub

Stober’s Bar

Claddagh Irish Pub

Irish Pub & Grill

Sports Bar

Buffalo Wild Wings (East Lansing)

Champps

Nuthouse Sports Grill

Reno’s West

Reno’s East

BEST LOCAL MUSIC

Cover Band

Starfarm

Root Doctor

Global Village

Frog and the Beeftones

Showdown

Hip Hop Artist

Big Perm

Araphat

Mr Fox and the Hounds

Philthy

Jimi Kanklez

Live Club DJ

Craig Doepker

Donnie D

James

Skitzo

Scotty V

Music Venue

The Loft

Green Door

Mac’s Bar

Uli’s Haus of Rock

Dublin Irish Square

Original Band/Solo Artist

Root Doctor

Steppin’ In It

Frank and Earnest

Frog & the Beeftones

Big Willy

Radio Station

88.9 The Impact

94.1 The Edge

97.5 NOW FM

100.7 WITL

94.9 WMMQ

BEST PEOPLE

Bartender

Craig Doepker (Mac’s Bar)

Alissa (Harem Urban Lounge)

Josh (Capitol City Grille)

Kevin Angell (Soup Spoon Café)

Judy (Mayfair)

Environmentalist

The Nature Conservancy of Michigan

Pat Lindemann

Jessica Yorko

Ben Hassenger

Julie Powers

Local FM/AM Radio Personality

Alabama (97.5 NOW)

Tim Barron (92.9 FM WLMI)

Banana Don & Stephanie (100.7 WITL)

Deb Hart (94.9 WMMQ)

Josh Strickland (97.5 NOW)

Local Politician

Gretchen Whitmer

Virg Bernero

Rick Snyder

Carol Wood

Sam Singh

Local TV News Personality

Evan Pinsonnault (WLNS)

Jason Colthorpe (WILX)

AJ Hilton (WILX)

Andy Provenzano (WILX)

Jane Aldrich (WLNS)

Spartan Athlete

Tom Izzo

Le’Veon Bell

Kirk Cousins

Draymond Green

Coach Mark Dantonio

BEST SERVICES

Alternative Health

Creative Wellness Holistic Health Center

Just B Yoga

Hilltop Yoga

Better Health

Craft Chiropractic

Auto Repair

Brogan’s Tire and Auto Service

Belle Tire

Liskey’s Auto & Truck Services

Frankie D´s

Bill & Charlie’s

Bud Kouts Chevrolet

Bank/Credit Union

MSU Federal Credit Union

Lake Trust Credit Union

LAFCU

C.A.S.E.

Dart

Barber Shop

Jude’s Barbershop

Douglas J. Aveda Institute

Barber Love

Great Clips

Frandor Barber Shop

Bicycle Shop

Riverfront Cycle

SPIN Bicycle Shop Old Town

Velocipede Peddler

Denny’s Central Park Bicycles

MSU Bikes

Car Wash / Detailing

Kwik Car Wash (Cedar)

Showroom Shine (East Lansing)

Wash World (Okemos)

OutShiner Car Wash & Quick Lube (Okemos)

Fast Eddies WestSide

Catering

Amy’s Catering

Morton’s Fine Catering

Catered Affair

Grand Traverse Pie Co.

Purple Carrot

Cellular / Wireless store

Verizon (W. Saginaw)

Verizon Okemos (Grand River)

Verizon (Eastwood)

Wireless Zone of Lansing

AT&T (Frandor)

Chiropractor

Delta Chiropractic Center of Lansing

Craft Chiropractic

Total Health Chiropractic

Rassel-Daigneault Family Chiropractic

East Lansing Chiropractic Clinic

Electrical

Bohnet Electric Co.

Capitol City Electric Co.

F D Hayes Electric Co.

IBEW 665

Consumers Energy

Health/Fitness Club

M.A.C.

Planet Fitness

YMCA Downtown Lansing

YMCA, Westside Community

Fitness USA

Hotel/Bed & Breakfast

English Inn

Wild Goose Inn

Radisson Hotel

Lexington Lansing

Kellogg Center

Laundromat / Dry Cleaners 

Baryames

Sunshine Laundromat

Maurer´s Point Laundry

Martinizing Dry Cleaning

Lawyer

Foster Swift Collins & Smith

Sinas Dramis Law Firm

Sam Bernstein

Aaron Matthews with Clark Hill

Cataldo & Meeks, PLLC

Maid Service

Molly Maid of Lansing

Merry Maids

Helping Hands

Maid in Lansing

Leeney’s Cleaning Service

Movers

Two Men & A Truck

E J & Sons Moving Services

B&J Moving & Storage

Kingsley Moving Systems

U-Haul

Pet Care/Services

AnnaBelles Pet Station

Doggy Daycare & Spa

Dr. Patterson

Miller Animal Clinic

Wag’n Tails Pet Resort

Waverly Animal Hospital

Photographer

Jena McShane Photography

Autumn Luciano Photography

Chris Holmes

Dave Trumpie

Art & Soul Photography

Natosha Cribbs Photography

Plumber

Michigan Plumbing

Meridian Plumbing

Hedlund Plumbing

Mark Woodman

T. H. Eifert

Restaurant Wait Staff

Golden Harvest

Soup Spoon Café

Bravo!

Texas Roadhouse

Mitchell’s Fish Market

Salon/Spa

Douglas J Aveda Salon - Okemos

Douglas J. Aveda Institute

Zoe Life Spa & Salon

Bella Rio

Studio 109

Tanning Salon

Tanzmania

J2

Cabana Sun Tanning

VIP (East Lansing)

Tanfaster South

Tattoo Parlor

Splash of Color

Fish Ladder Tattoo

Eclectic Art Tattoo Gallery

Vivid Ink

Liquid Tattoo

BEST SHOPPING

Antique Shop

Mega Mall

Lambs Gate Antiques

Little Red Schoolhouse

Love, Betti

Mason Antique District

Art Gallery

Broad Museum

Creole Gallery

Lansing Art Gallery

1212 Gallery

October Moon

Bookstore

Schuler Books & Music (Eastwood)

Barnes & Noble (Lansing Mall)

Schuler Books & Music

Curious Book Shop

Everybody Reads

Butcher

Merindorf Meats (Williamston)

Merindorf Meats (Mason)

Goodrich Shoprite

Mert’s Meats

Gorman´s Market

Clothing Store

Kohls

Grace Boutique

DEFYE Clothing

Urban Outfitters

Old Navy

Consignment Shop

Second Time Around

Kellie’s Consignments

Plato’s Closet

Goodwill Emporium

Plush Consignments

Florist

Horrock’s Floral

B/A Florist

Smith Floral and Greenhouses

Jon Anthony Florist

Bancroft

Grocery

Horrocks

Meijer

Goodrich’s ShopRite

Kroger

Foods For Living 

Jewelry Store

Becky Beauchine Kulka

H&H Jewelry Design

Wheat Jewelers

Kay’s

Medawar (Lansing)

Liquor Store

Oades Big Ten Party Store (Clippert St.)

Tom’s Party Store 

Goodrich’s ShopRite 

Big Ten Party Store (E. Grand River Ave.)

Big Ten Party Store (Jolly Road)

Musical Instrument Store

Elderly Instruments

Marshall Music

Music Manor

Meridian Winds

Best Buy

Pet Store

Preuss Pets

Soldans

Petco - Frandor

Petsmart (West Side)

PetSmart (Okemos)

Produce

Horrocks Farm Market

Meijer

Lansing City Market

Meridian Farmers Market

Allen Neighborhood Farmers Market 

Record Store

Flat Black & Circular

The Record Lounge

Schuler Books & Music (Eastwood)

Elderly Instruments

Best Buy (Okemos)

Sporting Goods

Dicks Sporting Goods (Eastwood)

Dicks Sporting Goods (Meridian Mall)

Playmakers

Dunham’s

Modern Skate & Surf

Wine Shop

Dusty’s Cellar

Horrocks

Goodrich’s ShopRite

World Market

Vine and Brew

BEST WHATEVER

Annual Event/Festival

Common Ground Music Festival

East Lansing Art Festival

Silver Bells

BWL Chili Cook-Off

Be A Tourist in Your Own Town

Best-looking Bar Staff/Wait Staff

Hooters

The Exchange

The Firm

Mac’s Bar

Spiral Video Dance Bar

Local Theatre Group

Riverwalk Theatre

Peppermint Creek Theatre Co.

Williamston Theatre

Lansing Civic Players

Lansing Community College

Wharton Center

Place to go on First Date

Connxtions Comedy Club

Old Town

Soup Spoon Café

Lansing Derby Vixens

Broad Art Museum

Place to take Out-of-Towners

Golden Harvest

Old Town

Broad Museum

MSU Campus

Lugnuts Game