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Wednesday, January 27,2010

Top Of The Town Awards 2010

by City Pulse
TOTTS Top Of The Town Awards 2010

It’s great to live in greater Lansing. We have a very tall building and a very pointy one. The pointy one tells the whole state what to do.

We have a gay city clerk, a mayor who can shout down the loudest jerks on Fox, and a City Council loaded with ladies! ladies! ladies! We have 10 theater groups as of 2:15 p.m. Tuesday and two GM plants that are up and running. We have many dentists and many billboards of smiling dentists.

Another great thing is voting.

Whether you’re scratching your vote on pottery shards, as the ancient Greeks did, or throwing electrons down invisible rabbit holes, as we do in modern times, only suffrage gives you the illusion that for once in your life, you’re in the driver’s seat.

Now let’s go for a twofer: living in greater Lansing and voting.

It’s time for City Pulse’s third annual Top of the Town Awards.

This year’s voting comes at a turbulent period in our history. (Future writers of Top of the Town intros will want to cut and paste that.) Some of you may be con cerned about the recent Supreme Court ruling that lets corporations spend tons of money to buy elections. The City Pulse legal team looked into the matter carefully, and came up with the following analysis: Bring it on! Just look at these beautiful, ad-filled pages.

Hey, this is a free election.

Consider this question from the Louisiana Literacy Test of the 1950s: “Conviction of which offenses disqualifies you from voting? (a) murder; (b) petty theft; (c) writing bad checks; (d) making whiskey.”

Our answer: None of the above.

So you shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Does that make you any less qualified to weigh the merits of Lansing’s burger joints?

Ergo, nobody has an excuse for sitting this out. And voting makes you eligible for prizes. (See elsewhere in this section; Supreme Court ruling pending.)

NOTICE: This is NOT a ballot. At www.lansingcitypulse.com you’ll find all the categories in easy-to-fill-out electronic form. If you’d rather do it on paper, sorry, you’re out of luck. And definitely no pottery shards, please.

Voting starts today at www.lansingcitypulse.com

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